(What my brother would say, word for word..haha)
If you think being quarantined with my parents and being called a thousand times a day, motivated me to writing this then yeah, you guessed right. I am one call away from bursting into flames. And don’t get me wrong, I am an obedient ‘son’, or so I think, but it goes without saying that chauvinism has very little to do with washing clothes and mopping the floor. Now, now ‘feminists’ hold your horses because I have done my research and I have left no turn unstoned. I recently came across a clip making rounds on social media about a brood of ladies raging on about their right to equality and having their husband’s cook for them especially when they get home later than the guy. Well, I think everyone’s entitled to an opinion and more so in the confines of a marriage with clearly outlined expectations. Personally though, I differ but that’s a debate I won’t get into right now. However, my million dollar question is, what happens when these men don’t cook? You beat them? Or is the whole stunt on feminism just theoretical?
Let me save you the heartache, men don’t do chores because we suffer from the African male disorder. Not arrogance. Palliaris calliaris or whatever, I am still working on the scientific name.
Since time immemorial, African men have been tasked with duties that exclude the kitchen and anything with the verb washing (minus their body’s of course). This is definitely intrinsic and one might add that this is because the men were the sole-providers and breadwinners for their families. But I kid you not, this little detail of history has been carried along to date even with the increasing plight to acknowledge the change of roles. Women now provide for their families better than their counter parts, the men, but that historical loophole continues to evolve into a disorder that is hard to purge.
Test trials on the male mice that I have condemned to death in ‘my lab’ show a positive curve in relation to men embracing house chores in the 21st century. But an anomaly keeps popping up. A significant problem. We have tried our best to domesticate ourselves but it’s really hard to clean after our mess. We eat and don’t cook and we wear and don’t wash. Even when we go the extra mile we never do the chores a 100 percent. So please stop pestering your all time FIFA 2020 playing boyfriend.
Personally, I am a melancholic. A character trait that came to my knowledge as I grew up. With it comes the curse of perfection and order and I can tell you, I have tried it all. But being a male African, I have lost myself more times than I can imagine in my pursuit to help around the house. But as they say, the first step to cure is finding out what it is that you suffer from.
All in all, I am a strong advocate of embracing change and helping out in chores. Most men are. So please pray tell these socialite bimbos to meet us in the middle or kiss goodbye to the idea of having a normal family.